Confessions of a New Mommy

According to the baby app I have on my phone, Sebastian is now 24 days old!  Wtf?!  Seriously, where did all that time go?  Seems like he was just born yesterday!  Today is actually David's first day back to work after taking 3 weeks off for paternity leave (he was originally going to take 2 weeks off but was able to extend his leave in order to help me with the transition...such a good hubby!).  This means that this momma has been on her own all day!  Good news... the baby is still alive with no injuries!  Bad news... mommy has not had the opportunity to get out of PJs and shower yet!  :(    

Not gonna lie... I'm really, really tired.  Unfortunately, against the suggestion of all mommies out there, I haven't really been successful in resting/napping when the baby is sleeping.  As a result, my thoughts are fragmented and scattered.  This is what is jumbled in my little head at this time...

• I was right... David is an awesome dad and seems to have transitioned into his new role as Sebastian's daddy pretty naturally. I love watching my three loves napping together with Sebastian on David's chest and Pookie nestled right next to them.  
• Pookie is a great big sis!  We are so very proud of her.  She literally watches over her baby brother throughout the day and "protects" him from strangers/visitors.  Even though she's not getting as much undivided attention as she used to, she hasn't once been a pain or has shown any ounce of aggression.  Such a good girl. 
• This is selfish, vain, but true... I want my pre-preggo body back (plus a little better) stat!  I miss my old clothes.  It is very depressing being in this limbo size.  
• The healing process is a bitch!  I knew it would be tough but didn't realize how tough or how long it'd be.  I guess it doesn't help that I'm allergic to all of the effective pain killers so I have to solely rely on Tylenol.  I am just now feeling "normal" down there.  
• I can't seem to catch a break... last week I was diagnosed with PUPP which is a rash that normally occurs during pregnancy but can flare up post-partum.  My research tells me that about 70% of people who get PUPP also gave birth to baby boys (something about the cause being tied to male DNA?).  I am currently on prednisone, a strong anti-histamine, Benedryl, several different types of ointments, and have ice packs all over my body.  I am SO itchy and uncomfortable and am praying that it goes away soon.  Unbearable (not to mention super gross and unsightly)!  :( 
• Breastfeeding is no joke!  We've had several appointments with Sebastian's pediatrician and the lactation consultants at Evergreen because at two weeks Sebastian wasn't back to his birth weight yet.  As a result, in addition to breastfeeding, I started supplementing his feeding times with pumped milk as well.  I feel like I can never produce enough for him... he is hungry all the time.  As of Friday, although he finally reached his birth weight, he is only in the 1 percentile so we need to help pack on some pounds ASAP!  At this point, in addition to breastfeeding and pumping, we now also have to supplement with formula if I'm "dry" and he's still hungry.  I'll be honest, I was disappointed and felt inadequate as a mommy when we had to start with the formula so soon.  Not that its bad to be on formula but I had set a personal goal of exclusively feeding him with breast milk for at least the first 6 months.  But, we of course, will do anything to make sure he's healthy and growing!  I hope that my milk supply increases soon!  I've been trying to drink as much water as possible, and also have some mother's milk tea and lactation cookies coming soon!  Wish me luck!
• His features... when he was first born, our initial thought was that he was all David, all Korean.  Slowly, he's starting to resemble bits of mommy too.  ;)  Daddy features: Eyes, face shape, hair, flat feet.  Mommy features: Tan skin, gap in between big toes and adjacent toe, lips, nose, eyebrows, and dimples.  He also sleeps like me - tongue slightly out with some drool and eyes slightly open like a creepster.   Oh, and when he makes his frowny/grumpy face, you can totally see me... especially when he  scrunches his eyebrows together!  ;)  Neither of us have long lashes but he was blessed with some pretty long ones... lucky boy!
• I love it when he becomes a limp biscuit and falls asleep on me.  He looks so sweet and angelic that it makes it hard to catch some needed z's instead of just staring at him.  
• It cracks me up when out of nowhere in the middle of breastfeeding he lets out a super high-pitched squeal of frustration when the milk is coming too fast.  I wish I could record the sound!  ;)  
• David without fail laughs out loud when Sebastian startles himself while sleeping. So funny!

I know I've got more thoughts in my head but that's all the time I have for now (its pumping time)!  Here are some pics of Sebastian's first 24 days...

Pookie welcoming her new baby brother!

First time in the car seat... just got home from the hospital!

First meeting!

Helping daddy with the diaper

Daddy with his babies

Milk drunk

Newborn!

First trip to the lactation center

Favorite facial expression

Already stylish!  He's even experienced his first Nordstrom Anniversary Pre-sale shopping session!

Go Huskies!

An attempt at tummy time!  ;) 

He loves his MamaRoo!  First day alone with mommy on watch!